As an actor, there's nothing on tv
I think the should have a show about me!
I don't think that's odd I don't think that's
And It'll happen when I murder Drew Carey!
Biting Nails Hoedown
There's 1 thing that I really shouldn't
It's my nails that I love to chew.
Day after day, I can't stop. What a twist.
I've chewed off all my fingers. Now I'm
nibblin' on my wrist!
I hate it at the movies when all the kids
I have to admit that is really not my scene
But 1 thing's for sure an usher I won't
I just sit in front of them, I'm over 6
Lattes, capuccinos, I really can't see
I like black coffee & everyone laughs
When I order they think I have no class
Why don't they take their espresso machine
and shove it up their ass!
Feeding the Cat Hoedown
I always feed my kitty the way a master
In fact I feed all the kittys in the neighborhood.
They look at me kinda strange some are even
I guess the figured out I'm feeding them
When I go golfing we always bet a buck
The my friend kisses me he kisses for good
I'm not saying I'm aroused 'cause he is
just a friend
But when he smooches me it makes my putter
stand on end.
Driving home from work can be lots of fun.
Driving down the highway, when your work is done.
I love to watch the bugs as they splat against my glass,
last thing that goes through their mind is their big fat arse.
Scuba Diving Hoedown
I love all the fishies, all the sharkies
When I see one comes towards me, I swim like you,
Out of all the friends down there, hey, don't you know,
a friend of mine! The very popular Jacques Cousteau.
100th Episode Hoedown
Colin says he's hung the best
that I just can't see.
I've known him for a long time, and it cannot be.
He's says he's got a big penis, but that's
not a lock,
Cuz I have to tell you right now mine's tucked in my sock.
Bachelor Party Hoedown
My friends threw me a party, I knew that
I was sunk.
We stripped right down, all night long, got really drunk.
Dancin' with my naked friends, boy, that's the
As a matter of fact, to hell with my wife!
Bad Neighbor Hoedown
I really hate the guy who lives next door
I wish he'd move real far or so I couldn't see,
People running naked, it's really, really scary,
But I guess
thats what you get when you live next door to Drew Carey.
2nd Beach Hoedown
I went to the beach with Drew
and boy was it fun
He took off shirt and everybody else was done
We got a place there, apartment that we leased
was being pushed in the water by some guys from Green Peace..